There is no perfect way to show up for a grieving family. What matters most is that you came. If you are unsure about the details, these simple guidelines may help.
At the service
Simple Guidelines
What to wear
Dress modestly and comfortably. Dark colors are traditional, but the family’s wishes come first. If they ask for a favorite color, honor it.
What to say
Simple and sincere is best. “I am so sorry for your loss” and “I will always remember…” are enough. Avoid trying to explain the loss.
Phones and photos
Silence your phone, and do not take photographs unless the family has said it is welcome.
Children
Children are welcome at most services. Prepare them in advance, and let them decide how they want to take part.
Sending Flowers, Gifts and Cards
Flowers can be sent to the funeral home or to the family’s home, and a handwritten card means a great deal. If the family asks for memorial donations in place of flowers, follow their wishes. You can send flowers and memorial gifts through our gift store.
A card with a short memory of the person is often kept for years.
Showing Up After the Service
Grief continues long after the funeral. A call, a meal, a ride or a visit a few weeks later can mean more than anything on the day. Remember anniversaries and birthdays, and say the person’s name.
If you need a place to gather after the service, the Shorac Family Center is across the street from our funeral home.
Good to know
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to go to both the visitation and the funeral?
No. Attend whichever you can. Families appreciate your presence at either.
What should I write in a sympathy card?
Keep it short and warm. Share a memory, say how sorry you are, and offer specific help, such as a meal.
Is it all right to send flowers if the family asked for donations?
Follow the family’s wishes. If they prefer donations, a gift in the person’s memory is a thoughtful choice.
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Have a question about an upcoming service? Call us, and we will happily answer. Call us any time at (740) 264-0563.